Chopping away at the keys, CNN.com awaits in the URL box. Enter.
A few moments of loading, or should I say one palya of loading; “slow computer!”
I pace back and forth across the room. Sweat blazes paths down my face. My vision becomes distorted, or was it always like that? The anticipation is killing me!
Finally, the page appears with the expected news headlines on the right-side. My eyes quickly gaze over them, and then I find myself face-to-screen with a red box screaming “DEVELOPING STORY.” I am very excited; this beats the story regarding Obama's gazillion-dollar spending plan and that one about rabid kangaroo flu, they call it 'swine flu'. I really want to know who let Kangaroos into Mexico. I guess they jumped the border.
Anyway, the media player appears with live coverage of the highly important, super, monstrous, paramount event. At first the live feed from the helicopter isn't exactly clear. I assume that they are chasing after something, a criminal, or a tornado, perhaps. The camera begins to focus in on a subject. The subject is moving at a high rate of speed. It is a fast fella. Zooming in closer, the pixels begin to form a clear definition of the character at hand.
“A bird? A plane?” I ask myself.
“No, it can't be you fool, it is on foot,” I reply.
CNN's premier live coverage of the day is a man in a sausage costume (I would later find out, his name is Chorizo). The costume is taller than the average person, possibly around 6 feet tall. This sausage sports a sombrero, a large nose, a goatee, an awkward smile, and two beady eyes. Arms poke out on each side, and legs occupy the bottom.
Chorizo is dashing across the traffic of a busy highway. He gracefully leaps, and glides through the air. It is unapparent to me how exactly he knows where to run. He is outrunning motorcycles, vans, and formula 1 cars. It is a synchronized routine of great running.
Growing tired, energy nearly depleted, oxygen fading, and helicopter fuel wasted, the sausage reaches its destination, Miller Park, home of Major League Baseball's Milwaukee Brewers.
This live coverage of the historic event had me laughing to nearly the point of tears. But I was not laughing just at the sausage, I was laughing, because CNN had made alerting coverage out of a sausage race. The unexpected coverage held me merciless at its humor. War in Iraq? Failing car companies? Unemployment? Steroid use in baseball? Superstar: President Obama? Kangaroo Flu? Who cares, when you have a story like racing sausages?
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